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13 Things I WON’T Be Doing This Holiday Season

2014/11 By Lauren B. Stevens Leave a Comment

I love the holidays, but I don’t like how stressed-out and frantic people become during the season (good cheer, anyone?).  I like to keep the holidays about quality family time, which means not overextending myself by overcommitting to things or creating expectations I can’t possibly meet.  To [humorously]  highlight some of the crazy events that mark the holiday season, I’ve drafted this list of 13 things I won’t be doing this holiday season.  Enjoy!

13 Things I WON'T Be Doing This Holiday Season

1. Camping out for Black Friday ‘deals’.  I’m currently writing this from the comfort of my own home, so obviously I’m out of the first dibs running.

2.  Forgetting to take the ‘baggie’ out of the turkey before roasting it.  Consider this a friendly reminder for you, especially all of the turkey virgins out there.

3.  Shopping Thanksgiving evening (I’ll be too busy cleaning up after dinner and enjoying the calming effects of tryptophan).

4.  Black Friday shopping.  Psshh! I’ll be ‘sleeping in’ until 6:30am!

5.  Overindulging in food and drink, but I will be ‘overindulging’ in quality family time.

6.  Hunting deer.  Watching Bambi kind of ruined that sport for me when I was 5.

7.  Standing in line for hours to get a photo of my kiddo with a creepy Santa [impersonator].  I did that for the first Christmas and consider that item checked off of the list for eternity.

8.  Thinking of ridiculous Elf on the Shelf antics (or buying one, either — it’s CREEPY).

9.  Combing through Pinterest looking for adorable Christmas Crafts to make with my son (too messy with a two year old).

10.  Baking copious amounts of Christmas cookies, while downing spiked egg nog á la Julia Child.

11.  Doing last minute gift shopping, with the old grab and wrap philosophy (poor gift giving will plague my conscience for the next year).

12.  Hanging out in Times Square to celebrate the New Year.  (Cold weather makes me have to use the bathroom, and, from what I hear, bathrooms are scarce in Times Square on New Years Eve)

13.  Making New Year’s resolutions I’ll never keep.  Resolutions are like yo-yo dieting, I make it a point to be awesome year round (it’s easier that way).

I’m not a Scrooge or a Grinch, I actually love the holidays!  The more simplistic our celebrations, the less stressed we are, and the more we are able to enjoy each other in the true spirit of the holiday season.

Do you have a difficult time during the holidays?  Check out these 5 Tips for Surviving the Holidays

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Filed Under: all, Editorial Tagged With: black friday, christmas, egg nog, elf on the shelf, gift giving, gifts, holidays, humor, hunting season, julia child, new year's eve, new year's resolutions, pinterest, presents, Thanksgiving, turkey

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Lauren B. Stevens is a former publishing rep-turned-writer, whose work can be found on ChildVantage, The Huffington Post, Scary Mommy and Care.com, among many other websites. When she's not chasing her precocious preschooler, Lauren pens hilarious and heartwarming stories about her life as a mother, ghostwrites blogs for businesses, and sometimes even finds the time to write a bit of creative non-fiction.
Look for Lauren's published essays in the books listed below:

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