Today’s blog is a guest post by Julie Bel Conner, owner of Happy Mommy Coaching. No stranger to the stresses of parenting, Julie offers 5 quick tips for stressed out mothers.
I have spent many years of motherhood in a fog of exhaustion, depression, anxiety and stress. Throughout my journey with my three boys I have learned tools that have given me a new perspective on life. I know that the struggle is real for millions of mothers out there and this is why I now work with moms to help them be their awesome selves as well as parents. It is truly a balancing act to find love for your children and family as well as love for yourself.
I am a Happy Mommy Coach, a yoga and meditation teacher, a Reiki practitioner and lover of all things good for the soul. My lifetime of depression and anxiety is what brought me to this place to help heal the mothers in this world and ensure we are loving life so that our children will too. I wholeheartedly stress stress relief.
I currently offer private and group coaching where I intuitively guide mothers towards happiness and I do this by listening and offering weekly action steps to help them make real changes in their lives. I have also created an online course called Happy Mommy. This course allows you to explore who you are while learning awesome stress relief tools. I created it for all the moms out there who feel like there is a little something more than diapers, homework and peewee sports. This is a DIY course, recorded so you can listen to it wherever and whenever for some inspiration and grounding. We all have a purpose, we all have loves and dreams and it is my mission to help mothers find peace in their souls and the energy to be loving to their family and themselves.
We spend our days playing catch up. Running to and from, up and down. We often forget where we are, what we want and who we are as people. Society underestimates the power of a mother and can also forget that we are humans and have the same limitations as normal people. Such limitations include time, energy, sanity…we are in fact normal people as well as mothers. I forget this too some days. I think that I need to conquer the world with no breaks or no help. Well, I have come to learn that I am totally wrong!
My studies over the past 5 years as a mother have included the craziness of my home in conjunction with yoga, meditation and intuitive coaching. I have come to learn that if I don’t slow down I am going to lose it and so are my children. That was the biggest eye opener for me, seeing the impact of my anxiety on my children. You know how our children never listen to us but always imitate us? Welp, they imitate our stress and anxiety just as much as they imitate our other actions. As we react to situations, take no time for ourselves and are just rushing to get to bedtime, they come to believe that this is what life looks like. We all know deep down that it’s not.
Stress and anxiety are the new epidemic, with 1 in 5 school aged children suffering from some degree of a mental disorder. That is scary. However, the beauty of knowing this is that we as mothers have the ability to show our children how to manage our own stresses and soothe our own anxieties. They can then take those tools with them in all of their stressful life situations. So it has become my mission to help mothers relieve their stress so that their children can learn to do the same. We will all be happier, calmer and be enjoying life much more.
Here are my tried and true best best tips for taming the stress of my daily life.
1. Connect with your breath
We all forget the one thing that keeps us alive and that can ground us. Our breath can take us out of the craziness that can engulf a mother’s day. I suggest that you go to the bathroom or hide in a closet for a few minutes to catch your breath. And when you breathe, you take a deep breath in through your nose and you expand your belly as big as you can. When you exhale, you blow out your mouth and your belly comes to your spine, letting all the air out. Breathing is critical to our sanity. And even when you breathe around your children, and they are asking what you are doing you can say, I am coming back to center, I am calming myself down and finding my peace and happiness. They will love it and they will join in. This is your most valuable tool when you use it.
2. Hang upside down
If you are fancy and knowledgeable, do a headstand or handstand, otherwise just flip over. This simple action gets you to focus on where you are now and it improves your overall mental function, who doesn’t need that? This is something you can use when your children are around too and they will really enjoy it. For me, it is all about incorporating techniques that I can use when my kids are running around, because, of course, that is when I need it the most. This is such a fun way to relieve stress and remember to stay grounded in the present moment.
3. Flip a Coin
Sounds odd, I know. This action correlates to the giant to do list we all have that builds up and we don’t always know what to get done first. One of the big challenges we face as mothers is to take time to focus on our own needs before those of others, and many times we have done this for so long that we don’t know exactly what it is we want. I find it is all about getting back in tune with my needs and desires so that I can function at a higher, happier energy level. I learned of the coin flip from Gabby Bernstein, self-help book author. All you have to do is ask a question that is on your mind and you aren’t sure exactly what you want. Heads is yes, tails is no. Flip the coin and feel your response. Did you get that excited feeling? Or did you get that dreaded feeling that you do not want to do whatever it was you asked about. It is critical to listen to those internal feelings and responses because you are honoring what you want (which you may not be used to). What you want is important. The more you listen to what your needs are, the less stressed you will be. You are honoring time for yourself which immediately makes you happier. This is also very helpful when someone asks you to do something, and you need to decide if it is something that is good for you or the other person.
4. Write a Done List
Our list is a mile long, it never ever seems to get completed and of course we perpetually feel bad about this. So what I do to make me feel good about myself and to shift from the negative to positive is to write a done list. Write what you accomplished in your day, even if it is just changing 10 dirty diapers, folding the laundry and writing one out of 50 thank you cards. We sometimes disregard these small tasks because they are necessary and we “have” to do them. The simple fact is that it doesn’t make them any less important and we are of course raising the next generation of children and these tasks are essential to the well being of all.
5. Communicate Your Needs
When you are feeling overwhelmed and stressed, one of the biggest things you can do is talk about it. Face it by speaking up about your issue to a supportive community. Let them know you are freaking out and about it lose it, and you need to talk about it or need a break. We all need breaks although sometimes we feel like we should be able to take on the world and handle it all. This of course is not true. We are human and, like I said before, we have limitations. So we need to reach out, we need other people to support us so that we can move forward, raise healthy happy children and be truly happy ourselves. Raising children doesn’t need to be exhausting and unpleasant, it really can be enjoyable when we put ourselves in a place where we can be supported and loved as much as we do that for our children.
I hope you find these tools easy to implement into your everyday lives. I have found them to be incredibly helpful in allowing me to be myself and not just a crazy mom. Now, many times a day I find myself enjoying being a mom.
Interested in signing up for Julie’s Happy Mommy Digital Course? Julie is offering lo-wren readers a 30% discount with this link.
Julie Bel Conner is a wife, mother, yogi, and life coach. For more information about Julie, or her Happy Mommy Digital Course, visit juliebelconner.com, or connect with her on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.