lo-wren

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A Year of Sleep (Thanks to Sleep Training)

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Today I’m sharing a one year check-in post that I wrote for Jennifer at Gift of Sleep Consulting.  Since sleep seems to be one of the most talked about (and agonized about) topics in baby’s first couple of years, I thought I’d share how we’re doing a year after sleep training.  
I ask that you please be respectful with your comments, as what works for one doesn’t always work for others, and sleep training methods tend to be a sensitive topic.  When I originally posted about our sleep training experience a year ago, I had people infer that I was neglecting my son and not tending to his needs as a mother.  That is/was absolutely not the case, but I realize that everyone takes different approaches to their little one’s sleep needs.  

 

One year ago, I was a frazzled mom, prone to tears, constantly overwhelmed, forgetful and fatigued.  My 8 month old son was not a napper and was up multiple times during the night.  Thankfully, I was at home with my son, but after eight months, I was completely drained and in desperate need of some help.
My son, Declan, was not a napper.  This kiddo would stay up all day if you let him (and is still the same way).  At the point when we finally sought help from Jennifer, from Gift of Sleep Consulting, D was napping in 20-30 minute clips, three times a day.  I was unable to get anything done, and I constantly felt stressed and under great strain to get even the smallest of tasks done.  No naps during the day, and waking every two hours at night, meant that if I actually remembered to bring my grocery list when I went to the store, I would still forget items due to my inability to concentrate.
Enter Jennifer from Gift of Sleep Consulting.  After posting about our sleep troubles on my blog’s Facebook page, Jennifer reached out to me.  Admittedly, I was wary at first.  Pay someone to teach us good sleep habits?  It seemed so…strange.  Who does that?  We did, that’s who.  Money was tight for us at that time, but my husband and myself (most especially me) were prepared to do whatever it took to get D into healthy sleep habits.  Apart from buying our ERGObaby, hiring Jennifer’s expertise was the best investment we made in our son’s first year.

 

We immediately began adopting healthy sleep practices & routines, I became better at reading D’s cues, and I transformed into a bonafide Sleep Nazi.  For us, healthy sleep habits for D were an investment and a commitment.  We kept a rigid schedule around D’s naps and bedtime, which meant sacrificing some of our needs/wants to ensure that we were home in time to follow sleep routines.  In fact, D didn’t attend his first story time until he was over a year old, because story times, both bookstore and library, were all held during D’s morning nap time.
Admittedly, having such a rigid schedule made scheduling social time difficult.  D’s tight nap schedule only gave me a very small window to run household errands or meet up with other moms.  But, the trade-off, well, wasn’t a trade-off at all; Declan’s need for proper sleep trumped any and all things.
Today, we have an 19 month-old who knows what to do when we begin his nap or bedtime routine.  He will even say ‘nap’ or ‘sleep’ if he’s feeling tired, in which case, we snatch him up and make his wish our command!  We’ve traveled for weekend and week-long trips, and the only bumps we’ve encountered were due to us having blown off a nap(s) (MommyCon was one particular instance of that).  I’ve had a year of good sleep, and now groan inwardly on those rare occasions that D wakes in the night (usually during teething episodes).  While we want to add to our family, I find myself wondering how I will function without getting a good night’s sleep!
Nineteen months in, I’m proud to have a toddler that sleeps when he’s supposed to!  I wish I could say that we’re lucky, but the truth is (and Jennifer would tell you) that it’s not about luck, it’s about adopting healthy sleep practices and routines.  Sleep is one of the most discussed topics in my parenting circles, yet many of the parents I see don’t want to change their routines(?!).  It blows my mind to hear people continually complain about their, and their little one’s, lack of sleep, but are reluctant to make changes to what they’re doing (I see this a lot with those that cosleep).If you find that you’re struggling to get your little one to sleep well, you should consider hiring a sleep consultant to guide you.  As I said, it was the best investment we made that first year.  Sleep is incredibly important to your little one’s overall health, and I wish that we hadn’t waited so long to ask for help.  You can read about our initial experience HERE.  You can check out Jennifer’s 5 Tips for Healthy Sleep Habits HERE.  Not ready to take the plunge?  You can shoot Jennifer questions on Facebook and Twitter.

Homeschooling?

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Carnival of Homeschooling

Graphic available (w/out text in red) as a printable from Scholastic.com

While driving around this weekend, surveying possible areas for our relocation, I was suddenly struck with a thought about homeschooling — something I hadn’t previously considered.  That thought, which I’ll share a little later, got the gears cranking about the concept of homeschool, and what it meant to my husband and myself, prior to this thought.

When Declan was an infant, my husband and I began discussing the possibility of homeschooling him, and weighing the pros and cons.  I approached the idea of homeschooling from a purely elitist educational standpoint.  My undergraduate degree is in English, with a Comparative Literature option, and I often had classes with English Education majors.  I was shocked by how much these Education students didn’t know about English, and couldn’t imagine those folks ever teaching my children.  Then, I had the opportunity to teach for a year in Florida, and again, was unimpressed by many of the teachers’ [lack of] command for the subject area; they knew educational principles, and had studied their classroom texts well, but often fell short in their ability pull from sources outside of the district assigned textbooks.

The fact that we frequently move for my husband’s work is another factor that makes us inclined to consider homeschooling our child(ren).  We don’t always know where we’ll end up, or the kind of area in which we’ll be living, and I would hate for our child(ren)’s education to suffer because we moved to an area with a failing school system.  If this was the scenario, homeschooling would definitely be a great option.

Another topic we’ve discussed is the number of available options for homeschooling these days.  There is a misconception that homeschooled children suffer from the inability to socialize and interact with their peers (because they’ve been stuck in their homes with their noses in their books).  Some ‘homeschooled’ children actually report to a school-like center and are ‘homeschooled’ with other children (which also means that working parents are able to ‘homeschool’ their children).  The internet has made the world a smaller place, so there are many options available the cyber route as well.  We live in Pennsylvania, and are lucky enough to have a dedicated website with information about homeschooling in the state.

So, back to that drive this past weekend.  I was looking out the window, as we drove through a wooded area with a creek, and saw a sign for a preschool.  Out of the blue, my thoughts immediately went to the fact that our children aren’t one-hundred percent safe when we send them off to school.  I don’t know why I was bombarded with these thoughts — Declan’s still got a while before preschool — but it caused me to think about some of the decisions we’ll need to make in the next couple of years.

I was in college when the Columbine High School shooting occurred, but it resonated with me as a teen [not far removed from high school].  And the more recent Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting resonated with me as a parent.  Both of these horrific incidents illustrate, to me, that even schools aren’t safe places for our children.

My husband and myself were lucky enough to attend schools without metal detectors and bag checks.  Shoot, the doors to our schools weren’t even locked to outsiders!  I don’t think schools, no matter the location, were ever the same after the Columbine incident.  I know that my former high school began locking it’s doors not long after Columbine, but I believe there had also been a rash of incidents leading to that decision (bomb threats being a major factor).  One thing is for sure: the atmosphere surrounding schools was filled with tension, not something I (thankfully) ever had to experience.

Maybe it’s because my little guy is still so young, or because of the fact that I’m at home with him, but for now homeschooling seems to be a great option for us.  I know that I won’t always be there to protect my child(ren), nor do I have any aspirations of becoming a helicopter parent, but there are things that I can do to take precautions in these unpredictable and volatile times.  Until this country makes education a priority, I can’t trust that my child(ren)’s best interests are being looked after in public schools (be it physical safety or getting the best education possible).

What are your thoughts about homeschooling?  Do you homeschool?  Are you thinking about homeschooling?

Mom Fail!

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I became that parent last weekend.  Since the beginning of October, I’ve been keeping up a pace similar to when I was working in outside sales, between organizing a large blogger event, launching my small business (Median Woolworks), blogging and participating in some awesome campaigns by Sampler, I’ve just not been able to devote 100% of my attention to any one thing.

It pains me to admit that 100% of my attention is not focused on one project at a time.  I absolutely love that I have so many wonderful things happening, and that my business if off to a great start, I just wish that I had more hands and more hours in my day to accomplish them.  From recent experience, one area tends to suffer as a result of so many projects, and admittedly, it’s been me being a mom.

I do all of my projects, freelance work, business without a mommy helper or daycare, which means that I have to push it all into nap times and after Declan goes to bed.  I am one tired mama, and I tend to forget the important things, but remember the unimportant details (not good).

So, when we traveled out-of-state for a funeral last weekend I was in a harried state, literally fitting in a half hour before we left to work on building the eCommerce site for my business.  I rushed around, packing a diaper bag for the entire day, trying to anticipate the many needs Declan would have, and getting myself ready to go out the door.  I hit the jackpot by packing Declan’s favorite crocheted baby blanket and his newfound “lovey” or favorite stuffed animal (Churphy, a stuffed cat from Ikea).  Within minutes, Declan was napping in the car, all snuggled-in and clutching Churphy [the WonderCat].

We arrived at the church and I quickly realized that sitting in the back was not going to work for the funeral service, as Declan just doesn’t stop moving while he’s awake.  I took him outside and we walked around for a bit; in the meantime, he picked up a new word: cone [for pinecone].  After twenty minutes or so, the chilly and blustery fall day (it was absolutely perfect and a wonderful tribute to our family friend) started working it’s way through our sweaters, so I headed to the car with Declan.  Just as I’m closing the door after myself, I hear a woman call out (it scared the dickens out of me!).

The woman worked for the church and offered to watch Declan in one of the nursery school classrooms, so that I could sit in on the memorial service.  I declined, so she offered to let us into one of the classrooms while the service was going on.  After a while, I had to run to the ladies’ room, and took D with me.  As soon as we finished, the funeral service let out and the bathroom was inundated with people, my sister-in-law and mother-in-law included.  I passed Declan over, as they were unable to greet him previously, and ran to the nursery classroom to grab my diaper bag.

We headed to the reception, spent a few hours, but needed to hit-the-road for our 2 1/2 hour drive home (by this time it was supper time, and nearing Declan’s regular bedtime).  We got D into his carseat, and I, again, attempted to tuck him in with his blanket and Churphy…but Churphy was no where to be found.  We tore the car apart, but nothing.  My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach when I realized that I had left Churphy at the church.  What killed me most is that I have a pretty good photographic memory, and I just did not remember ever leaving the stuffed kitty.

I was insanely busy that Monday, so my husband called and left a message at the church (the plan was to have my mother-in-law pick up Churphy and mail her back to us).  Tuesday came around and we hadn’t heard anything, so I decided to call the nursery school directly – BINGO!  Churphy was found, safe and sound in the 2 & 3 year old room!  Later that day, we received a message from my mother-in-law that Churphy was buckled-in the passenger seat beside her, safely on her way home, to be packed and mailed to us.

The ‘reunion’ captured with my camera phone

We received Churphy on Thursday, and the reunion was absolutely precious; Declan’s eyes lit up when he saw her and he got a big smile.  The next hour was spent hugging Churphy and carrying her everywhere he went.

I’ve heard many stories about parents losing/forgetting cherished stuffed animals/blankets/etc., and had always laughed at them.  When it happened to us, I was extremely disappointed in myself and close to tears; I just couldn’t believe that I had made such an oversight (Churphy is not exactly a small stuffed animal).  Thankfully, Declan is not SUPER attached to Churphy and we were able to locate her and have my wonderful mother-in-law send her back to us!

Best Buds the next morning – another camera phone capture

The real lesson for me is that I really need to work on finding a better work/home life rhythm & balance (within the realm of my control), because my current pace just isn’t working for us.

Have you ever left your child’s favorite object somewhere?  Were you able to locate it, or did you have to replace it?