lo-wren

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A Year of Sleep (Thanks to Sleep Training)

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Today I’m sharing a one year check-in post that I wrote for Jennifer at Gift of Sleep Consulting.  Since sleep seems to be one of the most talked about (and agonized about) topics in baby’s first couple of years, I thought I’d share how we’re doing a year after sleep training.  
I ask that you please be respectful with your comments, as what works for one doesn’t always work for others, and sleep training methods tend to be a sensitive topic.  When I originally posted about our sleep training experience a year ago, I had people infer that I was neglecting my son and not tending to his needs as a mother.  That is/was absolutely not the case, but I realize that everyone takes different approaches to their little one’s sleep needs.  

 

One year ago, I was a frazzled mom, prone to tears, constantly overwhelmed, forgetful and fatigued.  My 8 month old son was not a napper and was up multiple times during the night.  Thankfully, I was at home with my son, but after eight months, I was completely drained and in desperate need of some help.
My son, Declan, was not a napper.  This kiddo would stay up all day if you let him (and is still the same way).  At the point when we finally sought help from Jennifer, from Gift of Sleep Consulting, D was napping in 20-30 minute clips, three times a day.  I was unable to get anything done, and I constantly felt stressed and under great strain to get even the smallest of tasks done.  No naps during the day, and waking every two hours at night, meant that if I actually remembered to bring my grocery list when I went to the store, I would still forget items due to my inability to concentrate.
Enter Jennifer from Gift of Sleep Consulting.  After posting about our sleep troubles on my blog’s Facebook page, Jennifer reached out to me.  Admittedly, I was wary at first.  Pay someone to teach us good sleep habits?  It seemed so…strange.  Who does that?  We did, that’s who.  Money was tight for us at that time, but my husband and myself (most especially me) were prepared to do whatever it took to get D into healthy sleep habits.  Apart from buying our ERGObaby, hiring Jennifer’s expertise was the best investment we made in our son’s first year.

 

We immediately began adopting healthy sleep practices & routines, I became better at reading D’s cues, and I transformed into a bonafide Sleep Nazi.  For us, healthy sleep habits for D were an investment and a commitment.  We kept a rigid schedule around D’s naps and bedtime, which meant sacrificing some of our needs/wants to ensure that we were home in time to follow sleep routines.  In fact, D didn’t attend his first story time until he was over a year old, because story times, both bookstore and library, were all held during D’s morning nap time.
Admittedly, having such a rigid schedule made scheduling social time difficult.  D’s tight nap schedule only gave me a very small window to run household errands or meet up with other moms.  But, the trade-off, well, wasn’t a trade-off at all; Declan’s need for proper sleep trumped any and all things.
Today, we have an 19 month-old who knows what to do when we begin his nap or bedtime routine.  He will even say ‘nap’ or ‘sleep’ if he’s feeling tired, in which case, we snatch him up and make his wish our command!  We’ve traveled for weekend and week-long trips, and the only bumps we’ve encountered were due to us having blown off a nap(s) (MommyCon was one particular instance of that).  I’ve had a year of good sleep, and now groan inwardly on those rare occasions that D wakes in the night (usually during teething episodes).  While we want to add to our family, I find myself wondering how I will function without getting a good night’s sleep!
Nineteen months in, I’m proud to have a toddler that sleeps when he’s supposed to!  I wish I could say that we’re lucky, but the truth is (and Jennifer would tell you) that it’s not about luck, it’s about adopting healthy sleep practices and routines.  Sleep is one of the most discussed topics in my parenting circles, yet many of the parents I see don’t want to change their routines(?!).  It blows my mind to hear people continually complain about their, and their little one’s, lack of sleep, but are reluctant to make changes to what they’re doing (I see this a lot with those that cosleep).If you find that you’re struggling to get your little one to sleep well, you should consider hiring a sleep consultant to guide you.  As I said, it was the best investment we made that first year.  Sleep is incredibly important to your little one’s overall health, and I wish that we hadn’t waited so long to ask for help.  You can read about our initial experience HERE.  You can check out Jennifer’s 5 Tips for Healthy Sleep Habits HERE.  Not ready to take the plunge?  You can shoot Jennifer questions on Facebook and Twitter.

10 Signs You’re Ready to Stop Breastfeeding

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I recently sailed past the 19 month mark of breastfeeding Declan, and did so with a sigh.  I’m grateful for being able to nurse for so long, but the truth is that I’m ready to be done anytime now.  I started out with a 6 month goal, which turned to 1 year once I exceeded my initial length.  At the one year mark, I assumed (especially being pregnant twice) that Declan would just self-wean…and soon.  Not the case, pregnancy hormones didn’t put him off…at all.  And while it was painful, it was nothing compared to the pain of clogged ducts, so I nursed through it.  Now?  I long for the day that I can reclaim my breasts.  Completely tongue-in-cheek, here are some signs that you may be ready to stop breastfeeding:
A little breastfeeding humor, for those extended breastfeeding moms out there: 10 Signs You're Ready to Stop Breastfeeding

  1. Like an automaton, you proffer your breast when you hear the words milk, milkies, boob, boobie, etc. [or any utterance that sounds remotely similar].
  2. You gaze longingly at your regular bras, tucked into the far reaches of your lingerie drawer, and haven’t the slightest recollection of the last time you wore one.
  3. Why buy the milk when you get mama’s milk for free is no longer a humorous saying.  In fact, you’re thinking about charging at this point. 
  4. You’re ready to disassociate yourself from the Got Milk? campaign.
  5. You’re seriously questioning having another baby any time in the near future [because the thought of another nursling makes you cringe].
  6. You no longer think the I’m a Boob Man onesie is cute.  At all.
  7. You’re ready to wear something other than tank tops and cardigans [because, you know, you stopped wearing nursing clothing LONG ago].
  8. Nursing in public?  Pfft! No biggie [almost everyone’s glimpsed my breasts at this point].
  9. Your little one can now ask to nurse…using a complete sentence.
  10. Even your grungiest regular bra looks appealing.

The Inspired Family: A Mindful Parenting Conference Coming in March

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If you’re in the Philadelphia area, you’re going to want to check your calendar off for Saturday, March 22.  If you’re not in the Philadelphia area, you’ll want to start making your travel arrangements now.   The Inspired Family: A Mindful Parenting Conference, is taking place at Temple University in March 2014.

I am delighted and excited to share this conference with you, with an amazing line-up of seminars — there is truly something for everyone!  From pregnancy to toddlerhood, from the individual parent to the family unit, there are sessions covering a wide array of parenting topics.  Take a look at the conference agenda below:

I’ve already been ‘studying’ the agenda, so here is what my tentative conference schedule looks like:
10:00 am — Keynote Speaker (Carla Naumburg, PhD)
11:00 am — The Five Legal Documents Every Family Needs to Feel Secure
11:45 am — Remember to Breathe: How to Create Mindful Moments in Your Day
12:30 pm — Using Read Alouds to Promote Emergent Literacy OR Go Take a Bath: A Powerful Self Care Approach to Extraordinary Parenting
 1:15 pm — You, Your Child and Your Environment OR Pregnancy After Loss (depending on my mindset…)
2:00 pm — Can’t decide between most of the amazing sessions this hour!  This will be a last minute decision…
2:45 pm — Mindfully Choosing Childcare for Your Family OR Wanna Do It?
3:30 pm — When Motherhood Isn’t Filled With Joy OR Anchored Parents: Creating Positive, Mindful, and Happy Families
4:15 pm — The Work/Life Paradigm: Retaining Yourself While Developing Your Future OR Creating a Simple & Sustainable Meditation Practice
You can get a better look at the conference schedule by clicking the link HERE.
It’s not all about workshops and seminars, though — there’s shopping as well!  Be sure to visit the marketplace, with a wide range of vendors.  In addition, all attendees will receive swag bags with over $100 in products and special offers.  There is also a food court on the premises, so you’ve no need to hunt down a restaurant when hunger strikes!
For more information, visit the Inspired Family website HERE.  To purchase your tickets now, click HERE.  To connect via social media, visit Inspired Family on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram.
I’m looking forward to it and hope to see you there!
Inspired Family is giving one lucky reader the opportunity to win (2) tickets to the Mindful Parenting Conference (an $80 value)!  Please only enter if you are able to attend the conference on Saturday, March 22nd in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.  You can enter through the form below:

Homeschooling?

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Carnival of Homeschooling

Graphic available (w/out text in red) as a printable from Scholastic.com

While driving around this weekend, surveying possible areas for our relocation, I was suddenly struck with a thought about homeschooling — something I hadn’t previously considered.  That thought, which I’ll share a little later, got the gears cranking about the concept of homeschool, and what it meant to my husband and myself, prior to this thought.

When Declan was an infant, my husband and I began discussing the possibility of homeschooling him, and weighing the pros and cons.  I approached the idea of homeschooling from a purely elitist educational standpoint.  My undergraduate degree is in English, with a Comparative Literature option, and I often had classes with English Education majors.  I was shocked by how much these Education students didn’t know about English, and couldn’t imagine those folks ever teaching my children.  Then, I had the opportunity to teach for a year in Florida, and again, was unimpressed by many of the teachers’ [lack of] command for the subject area; they knew educational principles, and had studied their classroom texts well, but often fell short in their ability pull from sources outside of the district assigned textbooks.

The fact that we frequently move for my husband’s work is another factor that makes us inclined to consider homeschooling our child(ren).  We don’t always know where we’ll end up, or the kind of area in which we’ll be living, and I would hate for our child(ren)’s education to suffer because we moved to an area with a failing school system.  If this was the scenario, homeschooling would definitely be a great option.

Another topic we’ve discussed is the number of available options for homeschooling these days.  There is a misconception that homeschooled children suffer from the inability to socialize and interact with their peers (because they’ve been stuck in their homes with their noses in their books).  Some ‘homeschooled’ children actually report to a school-like center and are ‘homeschooled’ with other children (which also means that working parents are able to ‘homeschool’ their children).  The internet has made the world a smaller place, so there are many options available the cyber route as well.  We live in Pennsylvania, and are lucky enough to have a dedicated website with information about homeschooling in the state.

So, back to that drive this past weekend.  I was looking out the window, as we drove through a wooded area with a creek, and saw a sign for a preschool.  Out of the blue, my thoughts immediately went to the fact that our children aren’t one-hundred percent safe when we send them off to school.  I don’t know why I was bombarded with these thoughts — Declan’s still got a while before preschool — but it caused me to think about some of the decisions we’ll need to make in the next couple of years.

I was in college when the Columbine High School shooting occurred, but it resonated with me as a teen [not far removed from high school].  And the more recent Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting resonated with me as a parent.  Both of these horrific incidents illustrate, to me, that even schools aren’t safe places for our children.

My husband and myself were lucky enough to attend schools without metal detectors and bag checks.  Shoot, the doors to our schools weren’t even locked to outsiders!  I don’t think schools, no matter the location, were ever the same after the Columbine incident.  I know that my former high school began locking it’s doors not long after Columbine, but I believe there had also been a rash of incidents leading to that decision (bomb threats being a major factor).  One thing is for sure: the atmosphere surrounding schools was filled with tension, not something I (thankfully) ever had to experience.

Maybe it’s because my little guy is still so young, or because of the fact that I’m at home with him, but for now homeschooling seems to be a great option for us.  I know that I won’t always be there to protect my child(ren), nor do I have any aspirations of becoming a helicopter parent, but there are things that I can do to take precautions in these unpredictable and volatile times.  Until this country makes education a priority, I can’t trust that my child(ren)’s best interests are being looked after in public schools (be it physical safety or getting the best education possible).

What are your thoughts about homeschooling?  Do you homeschool?  Are you thinking about homeschooling?

3 Quick and Easy Items to Occupy Your Toddler[‘s Hands]

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* I was NOT compensated to mention any of the companies/products mentioned in this post.  All opinions are my own.

I’m not quite sure when it happened, but at some point my baby became a full-fledged, card-carrying, overly-verbose toddler.  It didn’t happen overnight, but damn, it sure feels like it!  I am now the mother of a 17 month-old with an ever increasing vocabulary, chalk-full of gems like “Boogie”, complete with gesticulating finger (as if I didn’t know where boogies came from), “Boobie/Milkie”, usually combined with a a tugging at my shirt (but sometimes with him looking pointedly and tugging at his pop-pop or daddy’s shirt- I sense an A&P lesson in the works), “Clock” and “George.”  There are times when I honestly don’t know where he’s picked-up certain words, and I have a brief stomach-turning moment when I realize that I really must do something about my truck driver mouth (I don’t know why, but I developed it while pregnant with him), lest Declan randomly start dropping ‘S’ or ‘F’ bombs.

This language explosion is representative of Declan’s quickly developing brain and ever-increasing independent spirit.  I can see it now: Declan will soon be able to verbalize a reason countering my [currently overused] word, “No.”  Right now, however, it’s Declan’s hands and body that are defiant.  You’re probably scratching your head at that one [or totally understand where I’m coming from], so let me explain.

Declan just can’t stop himself, from climbing furniture, from touching everything, from seeing reprimands as encouragement to do it more [faster, more dangerously, etc.].  Thank goodness my kiddo has a guardian angel; just last week he was trying to grab something from a side table, while standing on the couch (a BIG no-no), when I came back into the room [after a 1.75 minute absence].  Declan threw himself away from the incriminating evidence (him reaching for the remote), launching himself in the air sideways, off and away from the couch.  Lucky for the mischievous bugger, we have an oversized stuffed ottoman/coffee table that I had pushed closer to the couch.  Declan bounced off of the soft ottoman and landed on the floor between the couch and ottoman.  Luckier still, there happened to be a throw on the hardwood floor to cushion his landing.  I’m telling you, I don’t know if my heart can withstand a.) toddlerhood, and b.) having a boy.

Given his extremely tactile nature, I know that I need to find activities that include body movement and occupy his hands.  Here are some easy activities that have worked for us:

Nibble-Nibble! This is what happens when you turn your head…

Thank you Crayola.  Your Jumbo crayons and paper have provided [at least 10 minutes of] enjoyment and pride in achievement for D.  *Be sure to supervise because those vibrant crayon colors look tasty to a toddler.

Thank you Play-Doh.  Play-Doh has been the more successful activity, and occupies D the longest, as he squishes, pulls apart, flattens, smells, licks [and eats] this colorful concoction.  You can make your own, but I was in need of a quick-fix when I picked up some containers (read: desperation).  *Again, be sure the supervise because those little pies that tiny hands make are apparently as appealing to a toddler’s stomach as a real one.

Thank you Fisher-Price for your Doodle Pro Travel.  We picked this awesome toy up at an OT’s recommendation (great for developing motor skills, etc.), and we ALL play with it!  The Doodle Pro Travel is the perfect size for Toddler hands, won’t cause a mess, can’t be ingested [easily], and best of all?  The Doodle Pro Travel’s magnet pen is attached with a string – no lost pieces!  Three cheers all around!

These are just three quick and easy items I use to occupy Declan and his compulsion to touch, pick up and feel everything.  I figure that if I can give him plenty of things he is permitted to handle, he’ll stop picking up the things he’s not supposed to, right?

** As of publication, I can now add a play kitchen to the list – this involves the entire body and is providing hours of fun for Declan, as he ‘cooks’ and ‘bakes’ items for us.  I love watching him lose himself in imaginative play.  Santa hit the mark with the kitchen!

What activities do you do to keep your toddler occupied?

*This post contains affiliate links.

…and then I’m Googling “how to remove chocolate stains from upholstery”

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True story.  This is my life with a toddler.  I’m in my office, Declan’s watching PBS, things are quiet.  Too quiet, to be exact.  I peek my head out and I see D sitting on the off-white couch with a huge chocolate smear around his mouth.  My heart drops and I start running, not because of the upholstery, but because he could get sick from all of the sugar.  My panicked reaction causes him to flail all over the place, smearing the chocolate ALL OVER the off-white upholstery of the couch.  Did this really just happen?  I’m on the verge of tears, trying to figure out what to do first – grab what’s left of the caramels (they were wonderfully tasty sea salted caramels), grab the kid, or start attacking the stains on the couch?  To be honest, I don’t even recall what I did first because it’s all a blur.  I’ve not even finished my token cup of coffee of the day.  *sigh*

I’ve done my first round of dish soap and warm water, and sit here with my fingers crossed, waiting for the dampness to dry.  I know the world is extremely fascinating, and love that Declan loves exploring it [non-stop], but why, oh why, does my toddler have to touch EVERY. SINGLE. THING?

I’m not sure that I’ll survive Toddlerhood, let alone parenthood…

The Remains

Mom Fail!

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I became that parent last weekend.  Since the beginning of October, I’ve been keeping up a pace similar to when I was working in outside sales, between organizing a large blogger event, launching my small business (Median Woolworks), blogging and participating in some awesome campaigns by Sampler, I’ve just not been able to devote 100% of my attention to any one thing.

It pains me to admit that 100% of my attention is not focused on one project at a time.  I absolutely love that I have so many wonderful things happening, and that my business if off to a great start, I just wish that I had more hands and more hours in my day to accomplish them.  From recent experience, one area tends to suffer as a result of so many projects, and admittedly, it’s been me being a mom.

I do all of my projects, freelance work, business without a mommy helper or daycare, which means that I have to push it all into nap times and after Declan goes to bed.  I am one tired mama, and I tend to forget the important things, but remember the unimportant details (not good).

So, when we traveled out-of-state for a funeral last weekend I was in a harried state, literally fitting in a half hour before we left to work on building the eCommerce site for my business.  I rushed around, packing a diaper bag for the entire day, trying to anticipate the many needs Declan would have, and getting myself ready to go out the door.  I hit the jackpot by packing Declan’s favorite crocheted baby blanket and his newfound “lovey” or favorite stuffed animal (Churphy, a stuffed cat from Ikea).  Within minutes, Declan was napping in the car, all snuggled-in and clutching Churphy [the WonderCat].

We arrived at the church and I quickly realized that sitting in the back was not going to work for the funeral service, as Declan just doesn’t stop moving while he’s awake.  I took him outside and we walked around for a bit; in the meantime, he picked up a new word: cone [for pinecone].  After twenty minutes or so, the chilly and blustery fall day (it was absolutely perfect and a wonderful tribute to our family friend) started working it’s way through our sweaters, so I headed to the car with Declan.  Just as I’m closing the door after myself, I hear a woman call out (it scared the dickens out of me!).

The woman worked for the church and offered to watch Declan in one of the nursery school classrooms, so that I could sit in on the memorial service.  I declined, so she offered to let us into one of the classrooms while the service was going on.  After a while, I had to run to the ladies’ room, and took D with me.  As soon as we finished, the funeral service let out and the bathroom was inundated with people, my sister-in-law and mother-in-law included.  I passed Declan over, as they were unable to greet him previously, and ran to the nursery classroom to grab my diaper bag.

We headed to the reception, spent a few hours, but needed to hit-the-road for our 2 1/2 hour drive home (by this time it was supper time, and nearing Declan’s regular bedtime).  We got D into his carseat, and I, again, attempted to tuck him in with his blanket and Churphy…but Churphy was no where to be found.  We tore the car apart, but nothing.  My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach when I realized that I had left Churphy at the church.  What killed me most is that I have a pretty good photographic memory, and I just did not remember ever leaving the stuffed kitty.

I was insanely busy that Monday, so my husband called and left a message at the church (the plan was to have my mother-in-law pick up Churphy and mail her back to us).  Tuesday came around and we hadn’t heard anything, so I decided to call the nursery school directly – BINGO!  Churphy was found, safe and sound in the 2 & 3 year old room!  Later that day, we received a message from my mother-in-law that Churphy was buckled-in the passenger seat beside her, safely on her way home, to be packed and mailed to us.

The ‘reunion’ captured with my camera phone

We received Churphy on Thursday, and the reunion was absolutely precious; Declan’s eyes lit up when he saw her and he got a big smile.  The next hour was spent hugging Churphy and carrying her everywhere he went.

I’ve heard many stories about parents losing/forgetting cherished stuffed animals/blankets/etc., and had always laughed at them.  When it happened to us, I was extremely disappointed in myself and close to tears; I just couldn’t believe that I had made such an oversight (Churphy is not exactly a small stuffed animal).  Thankfully, Declan is not SUPER attached to Churphy and we were able to locate her and have my wonderful mother-in-law send her back to us!

Best Buds the next morning – another camera phone capture

The real lesson for me is that I really need to work on finding a better work/home life rhythm & balance (within the realm of my control), because my current pace just isn’t working for us.

Have you ever left your child’s favorite object somewhere?  Were you able to locate it, or did you have to replace it?