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I’m Not an AWESOME Mom [and I’m Okay with That]

2014/05 By Lauren B. Stevens 14 Comments

On this, my second Mother’s Day, I feel reflective about my journey as a mother; where I am, where I’ve been, what I’ve learned, and who I’ll never be.  My first Mother’s Day I was too tired to even think about how I was as a mom; but another year has gone by, I’m another year wiser, and I’m able to be completely honest about my shortcomings.

NotAnAwesomeMom.jpg

There’s no doubt about it, I am not an awesome mom, but I am completely okay with that; I know that I’m the best mom for my son.  My job as a parent is to care for my child, ensuring that needs are met, and that my child becomes a moral, law-abiding citizen.

When I was planning to begin a public blog, I asked my husband for help in naming this blog.  I’m the everymom, and I planned to approach blogging from the standpoint that there was nothing spectacular about me or my parenting; I am an average mom, doing the best I can and sharing tidbits along the way.  Thus, The Median Mommy was borne.[pullquote]I’m the everymom, and I planned to approach blogging from the standpoint that there was nothing spectacular about me or my parenting[/pullquote]

I think I spent the entire first year of my son’s life second-guessing myself each time I made a parenting decision (I don’t know how people parented before Google, honestly).  I didn’t really compare myself to others as a mom because I had a definite plan for how I wanted to feed, diaper and nurture my son, but I was constantly filled with doubts about how I was doing.  With another year of parenting under my belt, I’m definitely more confident, but I still have my shortcomings.

Look, I’ve browsed Pinterest; if ever there was a[n unrealistic] gauge for how you’re doing as a parent, Pinterest is it.  The bento-box lunches depicting famous works of art, the beautiful hand-sewn outfits, the myriad of crafts designed to entertain and create a child-genius; you name it, it can be found on Pinterest.   As much as I’d like to tell you that we have a well-lighted craft room in our house, with an unlimited store of materials, and that we upcycle almost everything we use; we don’t.  Declan and myself are not doing daily craft hours, nor are we doing weekly craft hours; truth be told, it takes an insane amount of work to set crafts up for a ten-minute attention span.  I will never be that mom, and I’m okay with that.[pullquote]I’ve browsed Pinterest; if ever there was a[n unrealistic] gauge for how you’re doing as a parent, Pinterest is it.[/pullquote]

As a mom, I have rockstar days where D and I click and move seamlessly from one activity or errand to the next.  I have mediocre mom days when I put on PBS and try to tackle deadlines, and I even have days where I give myself a ‘high-five’ for just keeping my child alive.  It’s the truth, and I’m okay with that.

So, I’d like to extend a virtual “Cheers!” to all of my comrades out there not aspiring to be the best mom in the world, but who are, every day, being the best mom for her child[ren].  Hats-off to all of you moms who aren’t “awesome”, but are okay with that.  Wishing all of you Median mommies a very Happy Mother’s Day!

 

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Comments

  1. Jill S says

    2014/05 at 7:54 am

    here’s to you! Attached to this is my ‘fence sitter’ post, which says a lot of the same things… *hugs*
    Jill S recently posted…Pole up my…the fence sitter postMy Profile

    Reply
    • Lauren Stevens says

      2014/05 at 2:11 pm

      Haha! Great post – we should start a club 😉

      Reply
  2. Carolyn says

    2014/05 at 1:03 pm

    Hahaha, you really are a woman after my own heart! (My tagline is “striving for greatness (but willing to settle for good-ness if that’s what it takes to get through the day!”) Some days it really is an accomplishment just to make sure everyone is still alive when my husband gets home 😉
    Carolyn recently posted…The Weirdest Nightmares EverMy Profile

    Reply
    • Lauren Stevens says

      2014/05 at 2:13 pm

      Amen to that! I really think we, as parents, are too hard on ourselves; the “bad” parents are the ones that are overly neglectful and NOT thinking about how they are doing as parents…. The fact that we take the time to evaluate how we’re doing is a great sign (but still doesn’t make me an “awesome” mom)!

      Reply
  3. Lynn says

    2014/05 at 12:25 pm

    Love this. My friend made a shirt that I proudly wear that heralds, “World’s Okayest Mom.” Great post!

    Reply
    • Lauren Stevens says

      2014/05 at 12:24 pm

      That’s brilliant – I NEED one of those shirts! Thanks for stopping by 🙂

      Reply
  4. Robin Wilson says

    2014/05 at 8:31 am

    My son is grown now and on his own but I really enjoyed this post! You have the right outlook about being a parent. We’re not perfect and there’s no such thing as a perfect parent for sure. I am blessed that my son is a very fine young man with no lasting scars from any parenting mistakes that I made. I just know you’ll do great!

    Reply
    • Lauren Stevens says

      2014/05 at 11:00 am

      Thanks for the vote of confidence, Robin! I love your attitude, and hope to keep a similar one throughout our journey…

      Reply
  5. Jennifer Schindele says

    2014/05 at 5:15 pm

    I loved this! You rock…I think you hit the nail on the head the other night when you said “Oh good, I’m not the only one then”. No, my friend you are not.

    And today as I look at the purplish cabinet and the 50 animal crackers that were spilled and then crushed into the carpet, I know that hubby will be walking through the door any moment and I have been successful in keeping my s#@t together for another day. 🙂
    Jennifer Schindele recently posted…Healthy Sleep Habits for The Toddler Tornado Known as KatieMy Profile

    Reply
    • Lauren Stevens says

      2014/05 at 9:52 am

      Thank you! It’s SO true, I’m happy just to have kept the kiddo alive some days! Glad to know that I’m not the only one with animal cracker dust covering my floor 😉

      Reply
  6. Diana Shirley says

    2014/09 at 10:17 am

    Totally agree with this!!!! I am not an awesome mom either, although I do have moments of awesomeness lol. And I too am ok with this, my kids still love me and that’s all that matters. And three of them are grown up now, but mostly we are just getting through it one day at a time

    Reply
    • Lauren Stevens says

      2014/09 at 7:43 am

      “…my kids still love me and that’s all that matters.” Exactly! Great job, mama!

      Reply

Trackbacks

  1. The Time Drew Barrymore and I Had Coffee and Dished About Parenting says:
    2014/12 at 7:12 am

    […] am far from the ‘perfect’ mom (what is ‘perfect’ anyway?), and frequently share about it; incredibly important in a […]

    Reply
  2. I Feel Guilty...for Not Feeling Guilty - lo-wren says:
    2015/04 at 8:50 am

    […] son began sleeping through the night, I began feeling antsy and wondered when I would begin to feel fulfilled through motherhood. The answer, I came to realize, is that I would never feel fulfilled solely from being a mom. I […]

    Reply

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Lauren B. Stevens is a former publishing rep-turned-writer, whose work can be found on ChildVantage, The Huffington Post, Scary Mommy and Care.com, among many other websites. When she's not chasing her precocious preschooler, Lauren pens hilarious and heartwarming stories about her life as a mother, ghostwrites blogs for businesses, and sometimes even finds the time to write a bit of creative non-fiction.
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