True story.  This is my life with a toddler.  I’m in my office, Declan’s watching PBS, things are quiet.  Too quiet, to be exact.  I peek my head out and I see D sitting on the off-white couch with a huge chocolate smear around his mouth.  My heart drops and I start running, not because of the upholstery, but because he could get sick from all of the sugar.  My panicked reaction causes him to flail all over the place, smearing the chocolate ALL OVER the off-white upholstery of the couch.  Did this really just happen?  I’m on the verge of tears, trying to figure out what to do first – grab what’s left of the caramels (they were wonderfully tasty sea salted caramels), grab the kid, or start attacking the stains on the couch?  To be honest, I don’t even recall what I did first because it’s all a blur.  I’ve not even finished my token cup of coffee of the day.  *sigh*

I’ve done my first round of dish soap and warm water, and sit here with my fingers crossed, waiting for the dampness to dry.  I know the world is extremely fascinating, and love that Declan loves exploring it [non-stop], but why, oh why, does my toddler have to touch EVERY. SINGLE. THING?

I’m not sure that I’ll survive Toddlerhood, let alone parenthood…

The Remains