If you missed my first post about Toddlerisms, don’t worry — I’ve got a few more ‘gems’ up my sleeve. Well, technically I didn’t produce these toddlerisms, my almost three year old son did. As my son’s independence continues to emerge, getting through days often feels like trudging through mud; it’s a good thing he’s rife with toddlerisms!
I have a cut on my finger…it wasn’t a sharp booger.
I heard this beauty come from the back seat while I was driving somewhere…for something (probably a grocery run). My heart dropped when I heard him say “cut”, but I realized it must not be serious when he proclaimed the offense was not from a “sharp booger.” Good to know…now keep your fingers out of your nose!
Disappointment is how you get people back together.
My son definitely takes after me, as some of my greatest ideas come to me during my daily shower routine. My little philosopher randomly blurted this advice out during his bath one evening. (my husband and myself are doing just fine, in case you’re wondering)
D: Mom, what color is my hair?
M: Your hair is light brown.
D: What color is your hair?
M: My hair is brown.
D: Then what are the white streaks?
M: Those are called grey hairs, D. *chuckling*
Hey, mom! I’m so glad this lady came to play with me.
I guess I made a great decision in hiring a mother’s helper to come in a few days a week while I work; glad he approves! On an entirely separate note, I’m now accepting applications for a new mother’s helper as the “lady” was only with us for three weeks; she says she was promoted at her regular job and received morning hours…
You’re not scary, you’re just tired.
Well that’s good to know, or is it? I came down with “tired” right around the time my son was born; maybe I should start wearing makeup around the house?
Mom, can you give me a piece of quiet?
I heard my son crying in the other room and went to investigate; apparently he just wanted a moment to himself…
This is nasty chocolate!
After our first walk of spring, trudging through mud on a trail in our wellies, my son came into the office with this exclamation. This could have gone much, much worse, but mud from a boot tread is bad enough…
Popcorn Tin aka Nefarious Toddler Tool (pictured above)
This may look like an innoccuous popcorn tin, but it’s really a devious toddler tool. After requesting “popsicle-flavored” popcorn from Santa this past Christmas, Santa obliged with a tin of non-popsicle flavored popcorn and our little guy was just as happy. Shortly after the tin was consumed, I began to hear the scrape of metal on our hardwood floors when I was working in the other room. The popcorn tin pops up around the house — wherever there is something my son wants to get (games, popsicles, knives, you know, the usual), but isn’t supposed to.
D: I smell something disgusting!
H: I’m sorry buddy, I farted.
I was sitting in my office when this lovely encounter took place. My husband was doing something in the kitchen when D entered and made his pronouncement. I had tears streaming down my face from laughing so hard! A little payback for the years of poopy diapers we changed?
This cheese tastes old.
Another astute toddler observation, upon trying blue cheese for the first time. At least we know he’s got a palate…
I love this eating party!
Dreaming of summer, we decided to have a small steamer in late winter/early spring. After eating 10 clams, a handful of shrimp, a filet of fish, and a couple Alaskan crab legs, my son gave his seal of approval. I love eating parties, too!
Is this a wall potty?
Asked when I took my son to visit the bathroom while grocery shopping yesterday; sorry bud, but no. My little guy ditched the diapers a week or so ago, and has been busy exploring every public restroom we encounter. While at a restaurant the other night, my husband took him into the bathroom with him. My son came back to the table exclaiming, “Mom, I used the wall potty!” Now I wish women’s bathrooms had small urinals for mom’s with small boys – a wall potty would be SO much easier!
What’s the craziest, silliest, zaniest thing your toddler has said or done?